Monday, August 16, 2021
I hear the 4:00 am alarm going off. Ugh, I complained, getting out of bed to get my water chugged down for the day. Calories burn goal? Check! Exercise goal? Check! Stand goal? Check! At this point, I needed to wake up as the water didn’t kick in yet. I got ready and was out the door by 5:00 am. I’m still dragging a bit, but I got to the gym and started working out. First thing first, I got on the treadmill, then the bike. Did both of them for 20 minutes. I felt good but in a lot of back pain, mainly my lower back. It goes back to my stomach carrying my back, which is why I’m at the gym in the first place. I burned 1,174 calories and did 42 minutes of exercise. I’m determined to change this attitude of mine. I went home, showered, changed clothes, and sure enough, went into the kitchen and ate everything, including breakfast. I will say that exercise does build up an appetite, but what I’m eating won’t help me. Sure, the breakfast was okay, protein such as sausage, eggs, and hot cereal. The rest of the day, snacking as usual. Food addiction is a growing pain to stop the addiction. It is up to me to change the most challenging addiction in the world for me; food. I accept the challenge!
Tuesday, August 17, 2021
Ugh! Here we go again. The 4:00 am alarm going off. I took a minute and had to set something straight with myself. I’m battling two complex issues here. One, the lack of motivation. If I am going to achieve my goals, I have to be more optimistic about it. Ready to get up in the morning, ready to chug down water, and prepared to stretch to start out the day. Basically, I have to turn myself into a morning person. Waking up negatively will not help me. Two, the food addiction. The more I wake up in a lousy mood, unmotivated with no purpose, the more I’ll eat. Depression leads to me eating. That’s why food is an addiction, and motivation is difficult to maintain. I finally got up, stretched, drank my water, read a little bit, and felt good afterward, ready to hit the gym.
There is something about me a lot of people don’t know. I have social anxiety. I went to counseling a couple of times and then stopped because of my fear. I felt judged by my counselor, and that bothered me. So I stopped getting treatment. Going to the gym does not help the situation because it is terrifying. Group chats are difficult for me. Social gatherings such as church bother me. You name it; it probably affects me. Doing things in the morning while everybody is sleeping is essential for me. Reading and exercising is helps me cope with social anxiety a little. But enough to get me out there and get going before everybody else shows up. I got to the gym with very few people there and did the usual treadmill and bicycling. I did 15 minutes on the treadmill and 23 minutes on the cycle. I burned 1,005 calories for the day and did a total of 38 minutes of exercising. I really feel good now; working out the stress, tension, and sweat with my body really got me going. I realize that hard work is not so bad if you allow yourself to do it. I went home and ate breakfast, and showered as usual, but what changed was, I didn’t snack throughout the day. I drank water and waited until dinner to eat. Is this the beginning of the process I’ve been missing?